A whole lot of things

Regular readers of this blog, and I am happy to say that it as many as five people, have been pointing out that it has remained unupdated for over two months. A very devoted reader, horror of horrors, even threatened blogultery, if I did not come up with a post soon. I know how hard I have toiled to build readership to such impressive levels and I feel terrified at the prospect of losing it all.

I do have a good reason for not blogging. I was away on a holiday for three weeks and while I did contemplate writing about it, I decided against doing so. What, I felt, could I possibly say about London that hasn’t already been said? After all, the very wonderful city attracts an impressive 30 million tourists every year.

However, I have thought long and hard about it and I am going to write a post about it for the following reasons

1. A lot has been said, but it was not said by me.
2. This is all I did for three whole weeks; therefore, there is nothing else that I can blog about.
3. And really, seeing as that I immersed myself wholeheartedly in the experience, I feel that surely at least a tithe of the somewhat massive post(s) to follow (yes, you have been forewarned) could be well worth reading.

So, here goes-my 2 cents, or rather 2 pence, on the subject.

****************************************

Somehow I had this impression that the London underground was famous and somehow I must have assumed that it was famous for being efficient and spectacular. Somehow I know that they are not responsible for these assumptions of mine and my subsequent shock; but that does not make matters any better.

The first thing that I noticed was that there seemed to be no published list of train timings. They seemed to be generally winging it along the broad principle of “we will send you one as soon as we can”. Also, as I was exiting a station for the first time, I noticed a board that against each line said “good service”. Naturally, I wondered if this meant that service was not good sometimes. I thought it was a bit ominous and I was not far wrong. I was to encounter enough and more of bad service, delayed service, late service and indeed no service at all really soon.

I was returning home the very first day that I had ventured out; I stood up as my station was approaching when a very cool voice announced that we would not be stopping at the next station. More than anything else, it was the sheer lack of warning of any sort that hurt the most. For two consecutive days the ‘Notting Hill Gate’ tube station remained closed due to sewage leakage and subsequent flooding, of all the things. All this was extremely disconcerting to someone whose only way to get back (to the temporary) home was extremely carefully memorized instructions from said station.

Then there was the trauma of bad service. When I have to go somewhere, I study the underground map carefully and then work out the best way to get there. Even as I am congratulating myself on my brilliance in working out an effective journey route, I am told to avoid some line due to severe delays. The official shows little or no concern for the amount of hard work that I have put in, in deciding on my travel route and the fact that all that work has now gone down the drain unlike the sewage waters at ‘Notting Hill Gate’ station. With a sigh I get back to the already very dog-eared copy of the map.

Then there is this 'Mind the gap' business; which is another surprise and an irony. They can build wonderful architecture like at the 'King's cross St.Pancras' tube station and yet they cannot build lines without a huge gap between the platform and the train? ! It is such an unbelievable waste of resources to just keep asking people to 'mind the gap' day in and day out. It is all very well to say mind the gap, what about the people who do not speak English and what about the deaf? No wonder there were 57 gap related injuries last year in spite of the non-stop warnings. And this is just going to go on endlessly. If only they had spent a little less time on architecture and a little more time in measuring distances, much of this could have been averted. But, of course you would not have had those cool souvenir T-shirts that say, 'Mind the gap'.

Further, the persistent sense of paranoia over possible terrorist attacks acts as a killjoy. I sense this a little more strongly coming from a relatively threat free city. There are continuous warnings to keep your luggage with yourself all the time and to not leave bags unattended because that will cause delays. The warnings are a constant reminder that the system is always under risk from possible terrorist attacks and it is not a pleasant thought.

The tube using public is a phenomenon in itself. "Much is made about the silence on the tube, although we don't of any metro in the world where the passengers are high-fiving and breaking into song", says Martin Hughes of the Lonely Planet Guide to London. This may or may not be true. However, we are also not aware of any metro in the world where people appear to be going to lengths to deliberately avoid any possible eye contact with a fellow passenger by being either really or pretending to be deeply absorbed in a newspaper or a book, lost in the music from the ipod and other cool music playing devices or by simply staring blankly into space. What is up with that, Mr. Hughes?!

I was climbing down the stairs to enter the 'Oxford Street' tube station one day when the shutters came down followed by an announcement over the public address system that the station was closed due to over crowding. (Who would have even contemplated such a station closure possibility? If that was a reason for closing stations, I don’t think we can keep any station open for long in India.)

I was not too sure what to do, but the other people seemed to have decided to wait, and very patiently at that, and I decided to do the same. Their calm patience was a little astonishing especially since there was no information forthcoming on if and when the station would open. I was not very happy and I did not even have anything to do or anywhere to go. But these other people must have had homes and hearths to return to, yet, they did not seem to mind waiting there. I did not understand their calm patience that day but I understood it soon enough.

Having said all this, once you become aware of all that can go wrong and you travel with a boy scoutish “be prepared’ mentality, the London underground is an unbelievably effective of getting around. You may be delayed, but you never get lost and it gets you where you want to go. If it is actually famous, I am not surprised that it is.

****************************************

The 'West End' seduces every visitor from the moment they arrive in London. You cannot use public transportation without having shows, and musicals in particular, screaming for attention left, right, centre, front and behind. There is almost the illusion that the city is just one big musical production in itself.

There are a fair number of productions and all of them of them advertise the absolutely fantastic over the top notices that they have received. It would seem that there are no bad productions at all. In fact there are no average productions even, it is all in the superlative.

If you are not sort of person who prebooks tickets to ‘Lion king’ the musical before embarking on the trip, complaint that the prices are too high and limit yourself to exactly one show, the choices are vast and bewildering.

How can anyone decide between 'The greatest British musical I’ve ever seen' according to Charles Spencer of 'The Daily Telegraph' (Billy Elliot) when you also have the 'Winner of every major best musical award’ (The Producers). Some do not need good notices; they have longevity on their side. 'The world’s longest running musical', declares ‘Les Miserables’ and you cannot fight something as powerful as that. Of course it is hard to ignore 'The Most electrifying hit show in town-go now!' according to 'Sky News' (Footloose the musical) or 'Expect to be amazed', according to the 'Sunday telegraph' (Stomp). And seriously, who amongst is not looking for ‘A terrific night out’, according to the daily mail- (Mamma Mia).

Of course you start to fine tune the information and realize that “A truly nerve shedding experience”, according to the Daily Mail is perhaps something best avoided (The woman in black). And when Michael Billington of ‘The Guardian’ says,” I couldn’t love anyone who didn’t see ‘how they run’”, it must be subject to a wider interpretation that might be more telling about Mr. Billington than the play itself. As for ‘footloose the musical’, all I can say is,'you have got to be kidding me'! Further, it is possible that that these reviews are just partial extracts. When they have chosen to publicize ‘extremely funny comedy’, the whole review might have actually said ‘this is so not an extremely funny comedy ‘ or ‘if you are looking for extremely funny comedy, avoid this like the plague’.

There are the advertisements screaming for attention, there are the reviews and there are recommendations from all and sundry. So, I finally went to the following shows after carefully processing all the information and using the extremely scientific methodology that I will now outline for the benefit of future visitors.

The phantom of the Opera –Damn Andrew Lloyd Webber and his campy but catchy tunes which I have been unable get out my head ever since I first heard them. Also, many is the time I have sung in my bath
When in the opera house, I know he is there
I see him on the stairs, he is everywhere
And when my song begins I always find
The Phantom of the Opera is there
Inside my mind

And I was happy to catch the whole thing live.

Life of Galileo-May be I will get a true understanding of what Brechtian means. It cannot be denied that such an understanding will enhance the quality of my life.

Waiting for Godot-It felt so appropriate on the 100th anniversary of Samuel Beckett’s birth.

The Mousetrap-It is as fine a London tradition as minding gaps. The show is in its 54th year and I went to staging number 22,452. (It looks as though it’s current run is simply to keep a record going. The theater was less than half occupied.)

A moon for the misbegotten- Kevin Spacey and The Old Vic, reasons enough.

Anthony and Cleopatra- The authentic Shakespeare experience at the 'Shakespeare’s Globe'.

La Traviata-One of two operas in town and the other one looked scary.

****************************************

Of course, I have to go the tour of the 'Lord’s' stadium. A crowd of around 70 people had gathered in the Museum inside where the tour starts. Tour Guide Jim (I just made that up) asks everyone to gather around him and he starts enquiring where we are all from. “Who is from Australia?” he asks; two hands go up and a same number for England and South Africa and New Zealand. No hands go up for Pakistan, Bangladesh and Sri Lanka. (He was not very thorough in his enquiry, as I do not recollect Zimbabwe and the West Indies being called out). “How many from India?” he bellows. Of course, it was very nearly the entire lot of visitors and it does not surprise anyone.

I found the rest of the crowd as interesting as the tour itself. Quite a few of them seemed a little awe struck even as they walked through the 'Grace Gate' entrance and they approached the whole business with a quietly reverential air. Reverence was writ large on the countenance of the young man that with delight spotted the 'Prudential Cup' in the museum. Immediately, he stood next to it and had a photograph taken. I felt like pointing out to him that having that photo did not mean that he had anything whatsoever to with the cup. But, it was clear that he had in some ineffable way become a part of India’s famous win at the 1983 World Cup tournament with that photograph and who am I to spoil the vicarious fantasies of these earnest young men.

Of course, it would be great to actually see a match being played there but the tour takes you where you cannot go on a match day and these places are well worth going to. I got pretty reverential too once I got to the dressing rooms and we were looking out of the famous and familiar balconies.

Our tour guide Bob (I think I got that right) keeps it going with a whole lot of trivia and anecdotes while gamely answering the questions from the earnest young Indians. Some were reasonable like, "Why does the stadium still not have floodlights"? (The stadium is located in a residential area and the neighbours will not allow lights). Some related to the subject that is close to the heart of all Indians like, "When India won the World Cup in 1983, where was Kapil Dev presented with the trophy"? Then there were the really deep ones like, "When Lance Klusener won the player of the tournament award in the 1999 World Cup, where was it presented?" Bob was a bit flummoxed by that one but on the whole he was a knowledgeable and entertaining person.

The tour culminated in a very detailed telling of the story of the history behind 'The Ashes', which is a really delightful story. Although disappointingly enough the Ashes urn itself was not there in the museum. Only for the third time in its long history had it left its comfortable home in the Lord's museum and was traveling down under ahead of the year’s Ashes series (currently being played there). The urn was allegedly traveling first class whilst its minders traveled economy. The tour is a pleasant and informative experience and totally worth the eight quid price of admission.

The Wimbledon experience or to be more precise the ‘All England Lawn tennis and Croquet Club’ experience is more of the same. Once again the tour is designed to provide vicarious thrills and they have quite the winning formula here. The tour takes you through the stadium through the path that a player would take, starting from where they enter and sign in, through the dressing rooms and down the route through which they will finally come out to play on court. They even let you sit in the chairs where the players sit taking questions during the mandatory post match press conferences. Although I myself felt no such thing, I saw that the others actually felt like they had competed in the tournament.

There is a museum which is very well designed and ekes the most out of the limited possibilities that it has. After all it is not much fun seeing Goran Ivanisevic’s tennis apparel unless he is inside them. But, the museum is incredibly hitech, full of touch screen terminals with player information, other trivia, quizzes, games etc and it is reasonably engrossing.

(This is it for now but there is more to come in the next post.)