Decisions, decisions

I have a simple and effective way of dealing with problems. I don’t. I just put away the nagging problems that I cannot face up to, issues that I cannot deal with, problems and issues- big and small- into boxes, close the lid gently but firmly and toss them into the attic of my brain. I then carry on with my life as usual. I, of course, have every intention of going back and opening the boxes when am nice and ready to deal with things.

There is a box in my hand right now. It is not a small one. It is not even a mid-sized one. In fact, it is a giant sized box filled with many crazy memories collected over a long period of time. I look at it and wonder what I should do. I try to think about the stuff inside it. I try to list out my options in dealing with them and the consequences of pursuing each of these options. Not very many of them end well. Some do. Therefore, the odds of a happy ending are low.

I draw out a mental ‘decision tree’. There are no easy decisions here even after all the hard work…. I look at the branch on the decision tree that says, “Do nothing”. It does look attractive and simple.

My hand reaches out for the lid on the box. It would be very simple to just close the box. Like I always have so far.

But, the attic is getting crowded with unopened boxes, all jostling for space. It looks like there is very little room in there. If I put in one more box, the whole space could explode, throwing the issues out into the wide-open…vast numbers of them, all suddenly demanding my attention at the same time. I could physically picture the explosion and a million boxes scattered all over the place. Issues creeping out of them …menacing little things, with lives of their own, roaming all over my head at their own free will causing pain, trouble and anguish.

It is time to open a box…

Or at least not close the one in my hand…