New Year Resolutions

I don’t have to wait for a new year; I get these moments when I think, ‘this is it’, this is the moment when the rest of my life begins. I don't care about the past; I don't care about any single thing that happened in the past. The rest of my life is going to be great starting this moment, this very second. I know what I want from life, at least for right now and I am going to just go for it. I can make every moment from here on count.

It is hard to make a clean break from the past though. It is not easy to let go of something even if it is no longer a part of your life. It is not easy to control the mind. It is not easy to forget. It is not easy to remember. It is not easy to get rid of stupid habits and silly addictions. It is not easy to change. It is not easy to make even the smallest of changes. It is not even easy to do the things that you like, the things that you really really want to do! And it is not easy at all to figure out why you are unable to the things that you actually WANT to do.

It is not easy to wake up at 7 am. It is not easy to do fifteen minutes of Yoga or twenty minutes of exercise. It is not easy to kick the caffeine and the junk food. It is so not easy to lose eight kilos. It is not easy to read a book a week (even though reading is as simple and as necessary as breathing). It is not easy to write a book. It is not easy to figure out what exactly is it that I want to do with my life. And it is definitely NOT easy to actually DO it. It is not easy to earn more money. It is not easy spend sensibly. It is not easy to visit three countries a year. It is not easy to learn something new nor is it easy to just not forget what I have already learnt. It is not easy to be a good friend, daughter, sister, neighbour, aunt, niece, employee etc. It is not easy to be good to myself. It is not easy to be good to the planet and to suffering humanity. It is not easy to delude myself into thinking that everything is all right. It is not easy to want the simple things so that I get them easily.

Resolutions, New Year or otherwise, have remained the same for far too many years. It is not easy, not easy at all.